If God forbid my house was a crime scene I wonder what the CSIs would think of it. Though it could happen if someone doesn’t stop nicking my Pringles. It amazes me that they find them wherever I hide them. They can’t find their own P.E. kits in their very own drawer but they can find the Pringles however inventive I get. maybe I should go with the ‘hidden in plain sight’ method.
My house does looks a bit like the scene of a crime scene to be honest, like someone has rifled through everything and flung stuff about looking for something of value, but that was me this morning looking for my car keys.
There is blood staining the hallway floor where Sunshine had a bad nosebleed. There is further blood on the wooden post in the kitchen where Kevin passed his sister a pair of scissors somewhat agressively.
But today I noticed something alien and unattractive on the window.
I have concluded that if Sarah Siddal ( my idol) and Gil et al were to come here, after careful analysis and the opening and closing of the big silver suitcases, and extensive luminol spraying, they would realise that,
a small child has sat upon the toilet, not bothering to close the door, he/she ( I am guessing he) has had the time to dig deep and leisurely into his nasal cavity and extract a large glob of something unattractive.
With the door wide open he has had a clear path in front of him, he has practiced his most recent obsession of being Harry Potter at all times and done a ‘swish and flick’, gaining a great trajectory, where the offending substance has ricocheted off the whiteboard and landed on the window.
Case closed methinks.