The Osmonds

I am coming to believe that I am actually a sad sack, that or menopausal and its causing weepy hormonal outbursts!
Yesterday I watched ‘100 Osmonds’ on Oprah.
100 Osmonds, that is a lot of Osmonds in one place, it must have been quiet around town in Salt Lake City.
The first thing I noticed was what a good looking family they are, not just the Donny and Maries of the clan, not just the famous ones, but all of them. As Osmond after Osmond got off planes and boats and buses, they all looked so good!

Marie and Donny look fab, Donny will be 50 this year!
Marie has 8 kids. I repeat 8 kids and she looks AMAZING and you know what I forgot about Donny and Marie, they are really funny, especially Marie, she is some comedienne.
Their father just died and they went ahead with the show to pay tribute to and celebrate the life of a man whom they all adored, who had steered them right. I don’t recall drug scandals and rehab for the Osmonds, no Bill Crosby is the father of my baby tabloid headlines. Good wholesome family stuff.

I grew up watching the Donny and Marie show, and I loved them. well I loved Donny and I wanted to be Marie.
When she was 12 she released ‘Paper Roses’, which is the first single I ever bought with my own pocket money at the age of 9 and I remember it was 35 pence. I then took to standing on my parents big double bed with a hairbrush in hand practicing for the day when I would become Marie.

I sang ” I realise the way you rise to seat me…” until my dear Mum put me right.

My love for the Osmonds signalled a move forward for me. I gave up my lifelong dream of winning a pony from W.H. Smiths, I gave up setting up jumps in the garden and running around whacking myself on the leg with my homemade, from an Apple bough ‘crop’. I moved onto Twelfth of Never, and those teeth and those eyes!!
I moved onto bigger and better things, and though I entered the competition faithfully every week I never won an Osmond.

3 thoughts on “The Osmonds

  1. i want to be the first in saying, “I BELIEVE!” but really my sister was more into the osmonds than i was, and it was she who bought the paper roses ALBUM (i think gramma bought it for her actually).

    but there only….imitation….

    is the line that comes to mind…

    Long live the whole clan. We should all be so wholesome, and a bit less raunchy hey?

  2. BUT they’re ONLY, imitaaaashun,
    like your imitashun love, for me…

    You know when you come here, not only will I do your hair but I will sing the whole song to you, don’t worry your pretty little head, I know EVERY word, even after all these years.

  3. oh god! i’m going to get ready!!!

    I realized the way your eyes deceived me
    with tender looks that I mistook for love
    So take away the flowers that you gave me
    And send the kind that you remind me of
    Paper Roses
    Paper Roses
    Oh how real those roses seem to be
    But they’re only imitation,
    Like your imitation love for me
    I thought that you would be a perfect lover
    You seemed so full of sweetness at the start
    But like a big red rose that’s made of paper
    There isn’t any sweetness in your heart
    Paper Roses
    Paper Roses
    Oh how real those roses seem to be
    But they’re only imitation — like your imitation love for me

    how true – how true (i added this bit!)

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