It should all have been so easy!. Kev and Jim decided ages ago they were going as Mummys and my friend had given me an unwanted bolt of white fabric.
Doris had a plan. Easy Peasy.
I would show you the pictures but have not yet figured out how to get my memory card into this new computer, it will come.
So I had my gang of foreign wives over and a wonderful woman from London helped me rip up all the fabric so really it’s just a case of wrapping, right?
Well, I get Jim all wrapped up tight. Too tight it transpired, and I had to undo him and rub the blood back into his legs and start again, but that’s another story.
When he is finally and not too tightly wrapped up he says he wants blood. I explain for the 915th time
about embalming and mummys and Eqyptians etc, which he turns his actually deaf ear to and insists on blood. So we have a last minute reccy for red paint and red postcas and smear ‘blood’ on him.
‘More, more ‘, he says. So I put on more, ‘here and here’, okay okay more blood, blood everywhere.
He looked like the victim of a multiple vehicle pile-up on the M1.
Kev on the other hand, probably because as Sunshine was wrapping him I was screaming, ‘not too tight, not too tight, he can’t breathe’, was, in the end rather loosely wrapped. the head part was hard and he didn’t want his head bound he wants swaths of cloth sort of hanging off his forehead.
Resulting effect; nutter who escaped from the mental ward on Prison Break.
Doris’ self assembled ensemble consisted of a hijab, just received that day from our foreign wife from Qater, an army camoflage cap with sargent stripes ( the real deal), a pair of sunglasses, her face whitened and black tuxedo trousers. Result; Michael Jackson ( Thriller days) combined with FARQ leader.
And off they went, into the neighbourhood, looking way scarier than they knew….