Kev, the real Kev, the original Kev is back. He was returned to Earth moreorless the minute he bought the ‘Reborn’ cards.
Seems I had put on my invisibility cloak to go on the big card buying trip.
I was in the same huge shop just last week with my friend from Canada, looking for the same type of thing.
So we go in and I say, ‘ we have to go upstairs’.
and “they’ say, ‘ no, I think they are around here, they’ll be with all the stationary’.
and I say ‘ Yes! I thought that too my lovelies when I came just a few short days ago, but in actual fact they are
upstairs at the back’
They say’ No no no, they are around here.’
They look in vain. They moan, they whinge, ‘ where aaarreeee they?’ they whine.
I say, ‘ they are upstairs at the back’.
They say, ‘ no they aren’t, it’s clothes upstairs’.
I say ‘ I thought so too, but in fact the card stuff ,the card albums, everything is upstairs at the back’
‘ But why would they put them upstairs with the clothes?’
I say, ” This is Japan! Ours is not to reason why my little muffins, let’s just go up”.
They say, ‘ let’s ask the lady’.
Fine fine fine.
We go to the check out and Kev stops forward and says, ‘ Excuse me…’ , and walks away….
Jim is suddenly and inexplicably rendered mute.
The Man is looking around the shop, looking at the ceiling, looking at the floor, looking anywhere but at ‘the lady’ to ask where the cards are.
I realise all the men in this house are somewhat inadequate in the verbal skills department.
So I, I the only non-native speaker in the merry gang, ask ‘the lady’, she has to consult a manual, make a phone call and ring a bell for assistance, after which she tells us,
‘they are upstairs, at the back’.
We go, we find, we buy.
We now have to just get out of the damn place before the kids want to go in the pet shop.
No such luck.
We say no to rabbits, no to dogs, no to mice, no to gerbils, no to guinea pigs, possibly to ice-cream, we drag grumpy lads from shop.
Another pleasant family Sunday.