Twas decided yesterday that we would foray out into the world to the pet shop and buys some birds.
Kev was all over the plan but Doris and Jim suggested a cat.
I said, firmly , ‘No, no way, not ever.’
whined asked sweetly, ‘Why?’
‘ Cos I hate cats, can’t stand them, never have, never will.’
‘well then, a dog?’
‘ No, equally not happening.”
‘Too much work that I will end up doing, plus too expensive, vaccinations, vets bills etc, no!’
‘Then a cat.’
‘ No, there will be neither cat nor dog on the premises. In fact, right here, right now I will compile a list of possible pets.
You may choose from the list, you may each choose one, if they are not really expensive perhaps you can each choose 2. ‘
THE ‘YES’ LIST
fish ( anything reasonable)
bird of the budgie/canary type
hedgehog ( Ha! don’t think I have seen a hedgehog in over 30 years)
THE ‘NO’ LIST
Anything rodenty ( hamster/gerbil/guinea pig)
Anything that runs around and might bite ( ferrets/rabbits etc)
Kev stuck with his original choice of a bird ( or 10 and he wants to keep them all in his own room)
Jim and Doris, clearly deaf as frickin posts chose ‘ cat’.
Doris launched into her story about how her friend Kana has two adorable kittens that sit on the palm of your hand, and suck your finger.
How the female is very pretty but weak apparently, and the male is not ‘good looking’ but he is strong. This sidetracked me a little, into a mini lecture on stereo-typing/advertising/blame the media crap, until Doris explained that the female has HIV, or as we found out after a google search, FIV, as it is known within the feline community.
So I tried another tack, I said, ‘Sweet things, please listen, the cat thing, the dog thing, it is an unequivocal NO.
There is no ambiguity here, there is not a shred of a ‘maybe’, or a ‘we’ll see’, not a hope in Hell of an ‘I’ll talk to your Father’. No cat. no dog, end of story.
” Okay, what about Wii?”