I Owe the Earth a Forest.

I do, and I’m really sorry.
We don’t have what I’d call a ‘great’ vibe running round the house right now.
Sunshine is being quite helpful, relishing sister being the one all the shit right now.
Doris with no school to go to, is slouching a lot, signing loudly, as if only, someone, somewhere, could understand the trials of her life, what she has to suffer. There has been a lot of comic reading, TV watching and phoning friends, not so much homework, or housework.
Getting a little tired of it all, and her insinuations that all her problems are caused by my failures, I suggested she make a note of them, commit them to paper, so we could read and discuss. ( what fun!)
So she did.
Reams and reams of it, trees cowering in her wake because of my failure, I think my bad parenting may have wiped The Everglades off the map. I owe the Earth a forest.
Sunshine huffed and puffed down the stairs with the tome. I was almost as excited to read it as I was ‘Far From the Madding Crowd’ back in the day.( That would be ‘back in the day when I was doing A levels, not ‘back in the day’ when it was written) .
I said I would get dinner ready then sit down with her and read it.
Maintaining my ever breezy smile and happy disposition, ( don’t worry your words don’t crush me, MUCH!) I was reminded of a Simpson’s epsiode when Bart had a crush on the baby sitter and then she called him a baby in front of all his mates, a huge hand pushed into his chest and ripped out his beating heart and a voice said ‘You won’t be needing this anymore’, I said perhaps she could jot down some of the positives, the ways I am doing it right, a couple of points for effort maybe. Focus more on the ‘tries hard’ aspect, than the ‘could do better’
She said, ‘I’ve run out of paper.’
Sunshine gave her some, she said ‘I wont need that much’.
I love my life.

6 thoughts on “I Owe the Earth a Forest.

  1. I’ve just introduced my children to the joys of Miss Behaving – they LOVE it! They can’t wait to read more! They were laughing so much at your Wax on, Wax off joke, and when you mentioned the chicken, I said, “Yes, and they have a CHICKEN! One of her boys went to a festival and brought home a little chick, and now it’s a fullgrown rooster that crows every morning at like 5 a.m.!” My big son’s eyes were wide & he practically screamed, “Maji de?!!! Really!!???” etc… I think they like you as much as KevJumba!!!

  2. Ack. I am so dreading the teenage years. Thankfully you are cool enough to remember a time when everything your Mum did was wrong, no matter what it was and accept that it isn’t YOU that is the problem, it is the fact you have a teenage daughter on your hands. Send her to me for the summer next year and I guarantee you that she will come back singing your praises as she will realise exactly how amazing you are after a few hours a day helping out with Joey! 😉

  3. In the spirit of equality I hope you’re giving her a list back… plus a list of all the things you have done / are doing for her which she probably has no conception of…

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