So Doris comes back from being out and about with her gal pals.
Calls me outside, says she needs to speak to me. I had 10 mins to finish making dinner and leave for a class, not the best time for chatting.
I went outside and saw Doris cradling a tiny kitten. The gal pals cooing to it.
No, no, no no no no no.
No, no way.
‘Please, please, please, we found it, someone just threw it away.
That’s sad, tis sad that that happened, that it happens often, but no, no no.
I think we’ve been over this eleventy times.
We have King Cock in the garden and 30 plus goldfish, that’s us maxed out on the pet front.
Too costly, my friend Bean, has practically had to sell the kids to pay vet bills.
There is no one here all day, they’ll be shut up in the house. I don’t like cats.
‘I’ll pay for everything myself, I’ll babysit for money and pay for everything, it can live in my room, I’ll take care of it, I’ll do everything.’
I’m sorry Doris, but the answer remains the same. No.
‘But please, please, someone threw it away, do you want me to just throw it away?’
No, I don’t want you to just throw it away, but I didn’t throw it away in the first place, please don’t make me responsible for that cat’s life, because someone else put it out and you brought it home. Could you please not make this my fault.
‘But if you make me put it back, it is your fault.’
No, it isn’t, I have been press-ganged into being the middle man here and I don’t appreciate it.
Why don’t you go to gal pal N’s house and ask her mother?
‘Her mother already said no last time because they have a dog’
What about gal pal H?
‘Her mother said no last time too, too expensive, no one home.’
But I said no last time too, why am I being asked again?
‘Because you’re so nice and I thought if you seen him, see how tiny and cute he is you might change your mind’
Well, nice as I am, I’m not changing my mind, sorry Doris, it’s not happening, no cats.
How long before we go through it all again I wonder.