Some recent conversations I have had with some of the chicklets.
Doris and I on the way to the hospital to have her finger checked ( after the stitches).
Doris.
Do you think they’ll take the stitches out?
Me
Maybe, or maybe they’ll just chop it off.
Doris
The whole finger?
Me
Maybe, or the whole arm.
Doris
With an aneasthetic?
Me
No. I think they’ll give you a stiff gin and then cut it off at the neck.
Doris
They might cut your mouth off.
Doris
My finger still hurts.
SunS
It was a tiny cut.
Doris
It was really deep.
SunS
I had a metal pin put through my knee.
Doris
You were unconscious.
Suns
I still felt it AND when they took it out I felt the pin scrape through my bone.
Doris
They stuck a needle down my fingernail.
Me
Have I told you about when I had to have my vagina stapled?
Me
There are some really unpleasant words written in black marker on your bedroom wall. do you know who did it?
Kev
Me.
Me
It made me really sad to see it.
Kev
It’s Jim’s fault.
Me
If you wrote it how is it his fault.
Kev
I covered it with a poster but he pulled the poster off.
Me
I think whoever wrote it must have been either very sad, very angry or both.
Kev
I was very angry.
Me
Do you want to say to me what it says. See how it feels saying the words.
Kev
Die Arsehole!
Me
And who was the arsehole you wished death upon?
Kev You.
Miss Behaving 
Ah the joys of parenthood. Shame you can’t send them back to where they came from really… 😉
I can’t send ’em back but I can send them to you. !!
Do you remember those “love is…” cartoons from the 80’s? Have you ever thought about writing your own version of them? 😉
Do you mean like,
Love is….hoping your arsehole mother dies?
( just between ourselves I used to collect the stickers, I had the labum and everything)
Rofl! (sorry)
love it! Steve is right, you so need to collate a few of these conversations and get an illustrator on board!
LMAO. Sorry, but it’s too funny. Send them here!
Haha! Sorry I shouldn’t laugh, but it’s funny! You had your vagina stapled?!?!?! what? well in that case, unfortunately, the kids definitely can’t go back to where they came from, you’d have to undo all the staples!!
You really can have the best conversations in the car with your children, can’t you, because no one’s getting out and stomping off. And plus, everyone’s in sort of a semi-coma state driving along in something womb-like. Sorry about the staples!
I think that is it, no one can stomp off and they usually wait till I’m trying to cross 8 lanes of traffic in the dark, on a stormy night, to ask fearless and seeking questions like, ‘Muuum, do you think I’m a lesbian?’
I should let you all know, for the record that I didn’t actually have my vag stapled closed!
Jeanne your blog is FABULOUS!!
I am so glad you visited and so happy you left a comment. “Comment People” all go to heaven you know, with rivers of dark or milk chocolate flowing by their bedsides. Oh, and great books piled high on the other side. with bags of potato chips laying around too! – Jeanne
lmao! Brilliant especially for us “listeners”;)
That’s why it’s good to blog, at least there is a record of things, I stopped record keeping after Kev was born.
haha, fabulous!
You reminded me that many years ago I was driving The Scowly Teen to school, she would have been about 5 at the time. I was doing the cultural thing too, listening to the opera Carmen (seemed a fun thing to do in my Morris Minor). I was telling her about when her dad and I actually went to see the Opera, before she was born and that everytime Carmen hit a high note Scowly kicked me. Her reply “I guess I hated it then too”.
That is SO funny, priceless, I bet she delivered it with real venom too, I can almost hear it now. lol.
were they at all impressed by the vaginal stapling?
Not in the slightest! Not even when I piont out that I had staples because of their big ,fat heads…nothing! LOL.
Ray saw it and wants a marker (31 days then she is with you!
Sista!! Love ya, you came, tell Ray to count slaps.
Only 31 more slaps till Japan. works a treat!