Well we found the phone, it was easy to find because it was ringing.
It was Baa-chan/Grandma, saying, everso nicely, very kindly and politely and running all round the houses in the typical Japanese way,
that perhaps we could come and pick up her grand-hooligans before she’s forced to call CPS.
The Man and I wondered for a while, what really is the worst CPS can do? Take them from us? Please!
So The Man drove off, not best please with this turn of events and I was left asking myself over and over, why the bloody hell they can’t play nicely together for 5 goddamn minutes.
Meanwhile I was up to my ears in manky veg, having taken the opportunity to clean out the fridges and catch up on BBC Women’s Hour.
The boys returned, blaming each other of course, nothing is ever anyone’s fault in this house, someone else always caused things to go awry.
This is the point at which, when I was a child, my Dad would have threatened to ‘bang our bloody heads together’.
I decided hard labour was the route to go, so sent them into separate rooms to sort out their school books.
Most of the day was given over to bad moods, much shouting and banging around, not a lot of fun.
Decided I needed to get out of the house for 5 minutes. I had my hair cut last week and my friend Nora said it looks ‘flirty’ and ‘sassy’.
So decided to flirt and sass my way around the supermarket.
Came back calmer. A little flirting and sassing go a long way.
We all made pizza and things were better.
The gals and I watched Brothers and Sisters, then American Idol.
Hope today is calmer and more Norman Rockwell and a little less Norman Bates.