The Wallet.

I bought Kev a lovely new wallet. It was one of the many lovely things my dear friend Naura brought from India to sell in support of various NPOs in Kolkata.
Handmade of Indian leather with a funky embossed design across the centre. Kev was very happy.
So Saturday morning at 5 to 10 he says he’s off to Japan Books to buy the latest book in a series he’s reading. He’d been gone about 5 minutes when the heavens opened and I wondered for a second or two if he had an umbrella. Half an hour later he comes back and says he couldn’t buy the book he lost his wallet on the way to the shop. Says it fell out of his pocket. Claims to have retraced his steps but not found it. So I said I’d go with him, we’ll look again. The first time he’d gone on the kickboard so he explains each and every twist and turn of the board to me and we looked in nooks and crannies, across the railway lines and in the undergrowth at the side of the road. That always freaks me out, I worry what if we found a body, or part of a body while we’re nebbing around in the foliage. OR, what if we found a live human baby? A baby someone had abandoned, and would they let me keep it? Also I had dashed out of the house so quickly to aid my fine young son I’d sort of forgotten to get dressed, so I was wearing sweats that pass for pyjamas, so if we found a baby and I had to wrap it in my sweatshirt , what with the rain and all, I was going to be sitting on the side of the road, holding said abandoned infant looking like a wet T-shirt competition. Fortunately, we didn’t find any abandoned babies or severed limbs, or even Kev’s wallet with his 438 yen in.
So Kev suggests we go to the police box and report it and see if anyone handed it in.
So, soaking wet, we’re sitting in the police box filling out a missing wallet report. The policeman wanted exact details of the embossed design on the wallet ( because so many Indian wallets went missing that day?), so Kev drew it for him in very fine detail. Then once again Kev’s brilliant memory for numbers saved the day as he was able to recall exactly what coins made up his 438, or maybe he just made it up, I don’t know, I was fast losing the plot by this point.
Report filed, we were free to go about the business of getting ourselves home in the rain, while having a last minute search and the nice policeman was clearly going to make the mystery of the missing wallet his top priority.

3 thoughts on “The Wallet.

  1. I reckon I spend 9geddit?) many hours a week looking for other people’s wallets. Other people being Scowly and her sister. Why they don’t just leave them in their bags is beyond me!!

    • I ashamedly confess I spend a lot of time looking for my own shit too.
      I sometimes wonder why they can’t just put stuff away, then I remember…crappy role model! The Man always puts things away though, never ever loses things. I endeavour to do better…

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