Xmas Card Fiasco

There was trouble afoot at the Post office today, I should have expected it, should have been prepared, I have had several recent trips where I’ve been able to conduct my business no questions asked, I’ve been in, bought stamps and posted, end of story, but I rested on my laurels and it bit me in the bum.

So up and cheery first thing, even Kev was in a good mood this morning, and he and Jim left together, happy, joyful little siblings.
At 8 o’clock I was planning a quick walk a 10 mile run but I decided that if I got my skates on I could enter round two of my Xmas card writing phase and really get ahead of even myself. It was tough to give up that run, I’d really been looking forward to it, especially with this morning’s sudden and drastic drop in temperature, and the rain and the thunder, but I managed to let it go. I put my skates on, I got out by boxes of cards, address books, coloured pens, and my list, my awesome list.
On the list I write down the names of people I want to send cards to, and when I’ve written their card I cross them off, it’s that simple and works like a charm, except when I flick through my non alphabetised address book and realise I had forgotten about half the people I know, so I have to add to the list, so even though I’m crossing off, my list is technically getting longer.
Never mind though, because I was on a mission. By 9.30 I had written 25 cards and I realised that if I zoom zoomed as I can because I have a Mazda, I could get to the post office and post those babies before picking up my friend Fumi for our Thursday morning zen and bliss yoga.
So twas in great spirits I zoom zoomed to the PO. I was meticulous, all my envelopes were very neatly addressed, I separated into Japan/ Europe/USA/Australia etc and told the lady they were greeting cards, so they’d go at the special rate.
So she picked one up and measured it against her card/letter/postcard measure thingy and said basically ‘no’.
So I thought she meant that they weren’t the exact right size for greeting card rate, so I said well never mind, whatever rate is fine, I mean I’ve written them all now, I’m not going to not post them am I, how stupid would that be ( I did actually do that in 2001, but a whole other story).
So she said ‘no, no, they can’t be posted’.
I said, whadda you mean they ‘can’t be posted’, it doesn’t matter how much they cost, I’ll post them anyway, even if it’s super expensive ‘letter rate’.
She said ‘ no, sorry and please forgive me but they cannot be posted at all’.
I said, ‘ what? I can’t forgive you, not now, not ever, why can’t they be posted?’
She said, ‘ they are TOO SMALL’.
I said, ‘ Too small? what are you talking about ‘too small’, they are greeting card size, average common or garden Xmas cards, neither too small nor too large, perfect specimens of average-ness and mediocrity.
She said, ‘no they are too small for my gauge. These cards are 13.5 cms, they have to be 14cms.’
Please, dear readers, visualise a 13.5 cm card, is it freakishly small? Is it difficult to see? Is it not visible to the human eye?
13.5 cms is NOT small. PLUS I posted some of these exact same cards without incident last week in round one of the Xmas card project, which I failed to blog about on the grounds it was just too damn interesting people wouldn’t be able to sleep nights.

So she said I had to open them all, extend the flap to max capacity ( the flaps I had just glued down, because yes, the most technologically advanced country in the world ( arguably) and we’re still working with GLOY in the post office).
So I said, and not really in the traditional, culturally acceptable polite way that that would cause me some inconvenience, but she didn’t care.
She handed me a plastic tray with my cards, some sellotape and a box cutter in and let me get on with it. ( I didn’t think the box cutter was a wise move to be honest)
So I did the four for Japan , and it was a total pain, and my beautiful handmade paper envelopes ripped a bit and I had to stick them down with sellotape. I was not best pleased.
So I sent the J four as they are hearby known and took the others home. I bought some envelopes 14cmx16cm at the 100 yen shop and I’ll just shove them in there I think, or if I have time tomorrow I might try another PO, or just buy some stamps and stick them in a postbox or something.
So a word to the wise my gal pals in Japan, size matters, measure those cards.
I had to *really * work hard at my yoga today to get my zen and verve back.

15 thoughts on “Xmas Card Fiasco

  1. Oh my – you have got to have the strictest, most by the book PO lady. Last week I sent a teeny tiny card and my sis in Canada was most surprised to receive it – the stamp barely fit! Today, I had the opposite though and nearly needed to fill out a file full of paper to send a parcel that generally requires a green sticker with my signature (and comment on the contents and price). Good thing the yoga worked its magic. I haven’t commented before, but this is be reading in Okazaki!

  2. Ha! New Po tomorrow methinks. And I know you were already starting to dislike me, but salt I shall rub. I went to the PO today *without* incident. (Of course they didn’t *know* what to do with my packages, but they easily bowed to my superior knowledge of the Japanese postal system, and processed the parcels as instructed, found the small package stamp, and failed to notice that 2 of them were actually rather large).

    P.S. Oh and I very considerately deleted this comment from FB so I expect some Brownie points despite my unsupportive crowing.

  3. WTF!? Un-efing-believable. My cuss o’meter is sky high right now. Enjoy your zen. I am thinking of what I would say to the lady who tell me that THAT! Thank goodness she wouldn’t understand my diatribe; otherwise, she might bleed from her polite Japanese ears!

  4. Too small? Too small? You know what? I’d be home right now creating the world’s biggest Christmas card out of a piece of paper the size of a football pitch… you know where I’m going with this don’t you? 😉

  5. I had that happen before. That was the year after the “too big” incident.

    You should have argued that they were small, but hard like diamond.

  6. Unbelievable, I like how polite the Envelope Lady was tho’ – I think you would have been able to post them in my gob when my chin hit the floor!! 🙂

  7. The blog had me LMAO as well, and the comments came and I actually had to turn around and check that the goods were still back there, I mean…s**t you people are funny. So wanna hang out and LOAO together. (forgot the F…LMFAO just feels more right, huh.) Size matters…will have to remember that in the future. Damn.

  8. What a pallava and all for 5mm – I know size DOES matter SOMETIMES and every 5mm helps but come on, it’s a Christmas card for godsakes!

    Another one here who sailed through the PO today but just so you don’t feel too bad, I’d forgotten about the greeting card rate and stuck down the flaps – the peel off the tape for ready stickiness was just too tempting – and they cost me 260 bloody yen each, I’m bankrupt before I even buy presents!

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