Not having pleasant fun happy times over here. Bit pissed off if truth be told and let the truth be told say I.
I had just arrived at work on Wednesday eve, when I get a call from young Jim saying he ‘found’ a hamster and could we keep it.
I said ‘No’. I believe there was no ambiguity in my words whatsoever. I said,
‘ No, absolutely not. Get.It.Out. Where is it now?’
‘ In the old cage on the table’.
‘ Then take it out, get it out NOW, out of my house.’
‘ But it’ll die outside.’
‘ Sorry, that is not my problem, why do we have it in our house?’
‘ because Shouma’s sister is allergic.’
How did Shouma’s sister’s allergies come to impact upon my life.Who the hockey sticks is Shouma when he’s at home anyway.
So I said, ‘ I’ll be home at 8.30 and I want the hammy hamster gone from my house, nowhere in the vicinity.’
‘No buts, out, out , out.’
He claims they found it in the woods, I did point out that maybe it lives in the woods, that it’s mother is probably frantically putting it’s picture on milk cartons as we speak, hamster police are now combing the area….he wasn’t buying it.
I hate hamsters. They are even more rat like than the cats. I KNOW it will be another thing that ends up being my responsibility and I’m overwhelmed as it is, I am not taking on any new projects for the forseeable future, especially projects that depend on me for life.
I hate hamsters so much, it’s a standing joke. My ‘friend’ in Tokyo sends me a picture of her hamster every morning, just to make sure I start my day on the right note.
So, and I’m sure you all know where this is going…imagine my surpise to return from industriously earning a living, a living that provides warmth and sustinence for the family, to find said, banished hamster still in the old cage, still on my table.
shit and fan collided and I demanded he be removed immediately. NOW NOW NOW.
But Shouma’s sister…. the allergies…..imminent death….. Don’t care, not my problem. Get it out NOW.
So off the lad went with hammy in his cupped hands, out the front door. When he came back in I said to get rid of the cage.
‘Wherever, I don’t care, put it back where it came from or something, anywhere, just out of my sight.’
Clever trousers Jimster, threw a towel over it and said ‘ Can you see it now?’.
Yaaaa!!! I can’t wait to go through puberty with this kid.
End of Story.
Or so you might think. But no.
The Man gets up this morning and tells me of his escapades in the night with a hamster running around the bedroom. The Man awoke to the sound of rustling and saw said banished hamster eating a book inches from his face. Well ‘rather him than me’ goes without saying doesn’t it.
So things erupted with Jim this morning, first he denied all knowledge, claimed it must have ‘found’ it’s way back in, like a homing hamster? I don’t think so. So many cross words were exchanged and Jim flounced off to school, slamming the door and mumbling about Shouma’s sister’s allergies.
And now, the damn hamster, that the Man put inside a big mushikago, inside a cooler box, is AWOL. We don’t know if Jim took it, moved it, let it go or if there is a rodent running around my bedroom.