Hammy Hamsters Adventures on the Mountain.

Not having pleasant fun happy times over here. Bit pissed off if truth be told and let the truth be told say I.
I had just arrived at work on Wednesday eve, when I get a call from young Jim saying he ‘found’ a hamster and could we keep it.
I said ‘No’. I believe there was no ambiguity in my words whatsoever. I said,
‘ No, absolutely not. Get.It.Out. Where is it now?’
‘ In the old cage on the table’.
‘ Then take it out, get it out NOW, out of my house.’
‘ But it’ll die outside.’
‘ Sorry, that is not my problem, why do we have it in our house?’
‘ because Shouma’s sister is allergic.’
?????
How did Shouma’s sister’s allergies come to impact upon my life.Who the hockey sticks is Shouma when he’s at home anyway.
So I said, ‘ I’ll be home at 8.30 and I want the hammy hamster gone from my house, nowhere in the vicinity.’
‘but..’
‘No buts, out, out , out.’
He claims they found it in the woods, I did point out that maybe it lives in the woods, that it’s mother is probably frantically putting it’s picture on milk cartons as we speak, hamster police are now combing the area….he wasn’t buying it.

I hate hamsters. They are even more rat like than the cats. I KNOW it will be another thing that ends up being my responsibility and I’m overwhelmed as it is, I am not taking on any new projects for the forseeable future, especially projects that depend on me for life.
I hate hamsters so much, it’s a standing joke. My ‘friend’ in Tokyo sends me a picture of her hamster every morning, just to make sure I start my day on the right note.

So, and I’m sure you all know where this is going…imagine my surpise to return from industriously earning a living, a living that provides warmth and sustinence for the family, to find said, banished hamster still in the old cage, still on my table.

shit and fan collided and I demanded he be removed immediately. NOW NOW NOW.
But Shouma’s sister…. the allergies…..imminent death….. Don’t care, not my problem. Get it out NOW.
So off the lad went with hammy in his cupped hands, out the front door. When he came back in I said to get rid of the cage.
‘where?’
‘Wherever, I don’t care, put it back where it came from or something, anywhere, just out of my sight.’
Clever trousers Jimster, threw a towel over it and said ‘ Can you see it now?’.
Yaaaa!!! I can’t wait to go through puberty with this kid.
End of Story.

Or so you might think. But no.
The Man gets up this morning and tells me of his escapades in the night with a hamster running around the bedroom. The Man awoke to the sound of rustling and saw said banished hamster eating a book inches from his face. Well ‘rather him than me’ goes without saying doesn’t it.

So things erupted with Jim this morning, first he denied all knowledge, claimed it must have ‘found’ it’s way back in, like a homing hamster? I don’t think so. So many cross words were exchanged and Jim flounced off to school, slamming the door and mumbling about Shouma’s sister’s allergies.
And now, the damn hamster, that the Man put inside a big mushikago, inside a cooler box, is AWOL. We don’t know if Jim took it, moved it, let it go or if there is a rodent running around my bedroom.

14 thoughts on “Hammy Hamsters Adventures on the Mountain.

  1. Oh good grief…I thought rabbits were bad enough! My Ernie caught a wee sparrow last night, which he proudly displayed to me and then I realised the poor thing was still alive! I ended up with it nestled in my hand for about half an hour before it breathed it’s last – meanwhile the girls who had rescued it were nowhere to be found! (I suspect Ernie’s face will be on a wanted poster by the time I get home tonight…)
    Hamster might be related to Houdini? (Good name for it when you get stuck with it, as you will!) 🙂

  2. I will not, I WILL NOT get stuck with this damn hamster, you take those words back now.;)
    Holding a bird!! No no no I can’t, I can’t even think about that fluttering in the hand feeling..aaaarrrghhh….

  3. Have a heart – have a hamster!

    Young Jim has been in touch with me and we have launched the Have a ❤ Have a Hamster campaign spearheaded by your budding social entrepreneur. You will be so proud of how he helped his friend with allergies overcome her struggles. I'm setting up the FB page right now. Please 'like'

  4. 1 “friend” ???
    2 you can’t trust any kid whose name starts with “sho” in my experience (sand in costume bag and bus panties incident-both “sho’s”)
    3. You should pay for a hamster. Then they do nothing but sleep.

  5. I figure you have 2 choices
    1. Call shouma’s mom and return the hamster.
    2. Box it up in a non chewable box and send it to your hamster-loving friend in Tokyo.

    • I don’t think Shouma’s Ma has anything to do with it to be honest. Whether shouma first said he’d keep it then reneged because of the allergies or maybe he said at the outset, I’ve no idea. I’ll send it to Tokyo, my ‘friend’ can deal with it. 😉

  6. Um no. I love only one. Hammy will be returned unopened as some hamsters are territorial and will fight and even kill each other. Where are this stupid cats? Shouldn’t they have dealt with it?

  7. I’m puffing my cheeks up in frustration on your behalf! If you find it just release it into the wild or through someone else’s letterbox. I mean, if he found his way in he could just as easily find his way out again right? Or failing that just buy a fishing catapult. You could have that hamster several blocks away in seconds. Just saying.

  8. Set a trap(boys will be good at that),box it up and send it with the boys to school .Add a note to say that you bought this for the school as a class pet.They would never dream about refusing a gift so some poor teacher(or kid) will end up taking it home.Which may actually explain where the damn thing came from in the first place…..

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