I FEEL LIKE ALL CAPS

by the way anyone who has not already read Louis Vs Rick at Tumblr, please, go there now, do not pass go do not collect the 200,it is the funniest thing ever.( and you’ll get the title of this)

So, I’m off tomorrow, in the early hours. I have been uncharacteristically stressed out all day, I do not know why. At one point I had to resort to cammomile tea.
Jim’s passport has not arrived but he does have a J. passport so it’s not like he can’t travel.
The day started off well with a call from my dear pal who told me about her Vipassna experience, focus on the breathing, that helped. I did.
I had to cut the call short because the DHL guy was at the door. Sadly it was not the passport, it was the old passport. I”ve skipped the bit where I called the passport helpline and they could not even hear my question without a credit card number.
I leapt to the door, sadly it was just the old passport coming home to roost.
I decided to go for a shave. I’ve blogged before about the lady shave, where they shape your eyebrows, massage your shoulders etc.
Sadly it was the one female member of staff’s day off. I didn’t care, a guy is fine, I’m not sexist and I’m not ageist either but he was pretty old with the shakes. So stress level not helped by man with shakes looming over me with cut-throat razor.
Focus on the breathing.
He put the chair way back down and did his stuff, and his massage was GOOD, he didn’t spend too much time on the octopus sucky cup thing, but when he went to put up the chair, instead of saying I’m going to put it up now,and slowly pumping it , he sort of stamped on it, and I nearly shot into the mirror. I had a touch of vertigo and was a bit dizzy, they aren’t real big on humour in the barber shop sub-culture there, so they just sort of said ‘oh you are dizzy’, I said, I walked with my arms outstretched towards the till.
Get home, pack, charge batteries, locate DS software, find new contact lenses, write down phone numbers, track passport. It has left Hong Kong, YAY.
Eventually it makes it to Kansai airport, but by 9pm has not been delivered, therefore will not be tonight. So I called DHL to ask if I could pick it up at the very same airport in the early a.m. but no I cannot, he said, you haven’t sent the correct invoice with the package, I said, I haven’t sent shit, I didn’t send it, I am the receiver, the recipient as it were. He said, well there is an invoice missing so it can’t clear customs please contact the sender. I said well that would be The Foreign Office.
He said, well quite, please contact them. Aaagh!! Again not essential but if it doesn’t come it has been a colossal waste of time and money
( 130 pound to date).
Deep breaths, leaving in 6 hours. Will see rolling green fields of Yorkshire, will be welcomed into bosom of family, will kiss old friends, will see my fabulous Feet and Sleuth, will raise glasses, will buy clothes, will eat Heinz tomato soup every.single.day.
So long, farewell, auf weidersehen……

3 thoughts on “I FEEL LIKE ALL CAPS

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